Following

I have been doing a lot of searching here in the blog and in doing so, have found myself searching ME, if that makes any sense!  I have alway been the kind of person that is always looking within myself, reading all the self help books and articles that I can, wondering, and basically searching the universe trying to figure it out. trying to figure out who I am.  Life had not dealt me a good hand, or so I thought.  But really it did.  I was raised in a loving home with my sister, we didn't have too much, but we had what we needed and most of what we wanted.  I became a meth head while in high school, but still somehow managed to graduate with good grades and a decent grade point average.  I spent the next fifteen years being a nonproductive member of society, in and out of prison, hooked on one drug or another (mainly meth), until one day I found myself back in jail yet again, with my three beautiful daughters in the Child Protective Services system.  That was a turning point for me.  These beautiful girls that I loved so dearly, who didn't ask to be brought into this world, were being ripped from the life that they knew because I so selfishly could not get it together for them.  That was three years ago.  It has been over three years (June 13, 2006) since I have used meth.  And what a wonderful three years it has been.  I am raising my daughters with their father, who is also clean from his meth addiction, and life could not be better!!  My kids' father, who also spent his life in and out of prison and addicted to meth, never had a job and spent his entire life living for his next fix.  What a changed man he is today! I am now a stay at home mom, and he is the sole provider, working eleven hour nights, six days a week.  I love this man who has changed so completely to give his family the life that they deserve.  I love my life. I love my family.  I love my children.  And most of all...I love my self.  And it has been thru the reading of other peoples blogs and posts and my own thought processes that I have realized that I don't need all these self helps...I just have to look within myself!